MySpace Oops Leads to 42 Reveal (Spoilers)

Monday 14 May 2007 10:23amToday I was a long way from home…We landed on a spaceship in this place called the Torajii system. The sun was alive and possessing people. Like I said, long way from home.I remember the time I first came home from Uni. The hardest thing about it wasn’t seeing that mum and dad were close to splitting up but it was suddenly realising that we were all changing. Suddenly I had this thing of not quite knowing what to say to them because we no longer had this shared experience of life that we’d had up until then. We talked about what I’d been up to and what they’d been doing but it was all a bit awkward and we had to kind of scrabble around, trying to find something we’d all watched on the telly. It passed, of course after the first night everything was pretty much back to normal but it was so strange suddenly feeling a bit separate from them. Something like that happened today. Basically, I thought I was going to die. Actually I knew I was going to die. So I phoned mum. And I didn’t know what to say. Obviously, I couldn’t tell her what I was doing (she has enough of a problem with the Doctor without me making it worse) but because we didn’t have anything immediately in common, because we didn’t have the time to settle into relaxing and chatting normally, it just felt so odd. Like we were living such different lives. She sounded distracted (presumably because of work) and I knew I was going to die (I didn’t, of course. The Doctor saved me). You’d think, knowing you were going to die, that it’d be like something on Holby City. I’d have some huge speech about loving my family and how they shouldn’t feel sad and that but… I didn’t. So, yeah, that was scary.Something even worse happened though. And, again, it reminded me of something that happened when I was growing up. Do you remember that time you first realised your parents weren’t perfect? As a kid, you think they know everything and they’re flawless and all that. Then, when you start to grow up, you start to rebel but deep down you still think they’re right but then, one day, you suddenly realise that they’re human and fallible like everyone else and it’s kind of scary. Well I had something like that today, only so much worse. The Doctor was possessed by a sun and… he was scared. He told me that he was scared. Which, again, you’d think would be a good ‘finally he’s not being such a bloke’ thing but it wasn’t. It was probably the most terrifying moment I’ve experienced since we started travelling together. Just him saying those words, made the Universe so much bigger and… yeah, basically it was terrifying but, hey, some good came out of it! I think it’s brought us even closer together as I did, kind of anyway, save his life. And he thanked me which is also a first! I’m slowly chipping away that at that barrier! But, yeah, seeing him just being so… vulnerable. I just wanted to hold him and tell him that everything is okay but… sorry trying to think of the words and I don’t have much time… but yeah, it was like when you first have to comfort your mum about something. I had to do it when my cousin died. I was upset, of course, but mum was devastated and it was me that was hugging her and comforting her and in one way that’s great but in another it’s terrifying because it feels wrong. You realise that we’re all the same. We all get scared. We all get upset. We all need comforting. And, sometimes, you have to be the grown-up. Sometimes, you have to be the Doctor.Anyway, enough about families and stuff! I’ve got to stop getting what Tish calls so emo! It isn’t normally in my nature to be like this but I guess everyone’s human.More soon!